Hello my lovely followers. (: Let me just say this…hangovers suck, and no, I do not mean the movie. My apologies for not answering the second half of this week’s questions when I was supposed to, but I was feeling a little “under the weather” if you catch my drift. haha. Soo…that being said, here we go with round 2 for this week. Enjoy!

Hello!

I have been with my boyfriend for a few months, and I have given him plenty of handjobs, and a few blowjobs. He is the first guy that I have done this with, and he seems to enjoy it while I am doing it, but I don’t know if I am doing it right (or good enough for him). The problem is that he never ejaculates while I am doing it, and then after I am done he finishes himself with his own hand while I am laying there. I don’t know if I am just not doing enough to pleasure him to that point, or is it common for the guy to finish himself? And, if it is me who is not doing enough to make it happen, what can I do to make it so he doesn’t have to finish himself? Or, when he does finish himself, what should I be doing while he is doing it?

Thanks!

Well hello there! I don’t think your issue is whether or not your boyfriend is enjoying himself, perhaps the reason he always finishes himself off is because he doesn’t want to make you feel like you have to finish him, do you get what I’m saying? A lot of guys have this idea that we don’t like pleasing our men, or we don’t enjoy semen in our mouths. For some girls, this may be true, but for a majority of girls it’s a non-issue. He could possibly be feeling guilty about this. He could also just take longer than your average guy to cum and maybe he’s also concerned because he doesn’t want to “work you” too hard. If you are lacking in technique, your guy should tell you this. How are you going to know what he likes if he never tells you and always does things himself, right? I’ll give you some quick blow-job tips and tricks that maybe will help you keep his focus. Firstly, eye contact! You batting your pretty eyelashes at him while going down on him will make it look to him like you are really enjoying yourself pleasing him and guys love that. Next let’s go over the few special parts of the penis to pay particular attention to: the frenulum is an elastic-like band of tissue running from the glans (tip) of the penis, down the shaft on the underside and has a ton of nerves in it! Tip his penis up and lick up and down this spot-you’ll know when you’ve hit the spot by his reaction. (; The glans (tip) of the penis itself is about 100x more sensitive than your guy’s shaft, you if you can focus most of your mouth movements there you’ll definitely be good to go. Try swirling your tongue around the outside of it (like you’re licking an ice cream cone!). Also why you are working the tip with your tongue, feel free to use your hands to work his shaft-guys love a little hj/bj combo. Next, the urethral opening (the pee hole) is also extremely sensitive so you can try running your tongue over the top of it or flicking your tongue lightly in it. Last but certainly not least, as I tell everyone, don’t ignore the love sacs!! Guys love the added sensation of their girl playing with their balls while they give them head. You can bite them (lightly!), tickle them, rub them between your fingers or hands, suck on them, lick them, whatever as long as you’re very gentle because they’re fragile and sensitive. Try paying particular attention to these parts of your guy’s member and see what works for him, also please don’t be afraid to ask your guy what he wants from you/what makes him feel good. That way you’ll know and be able to give it to him better and he’ll think it’s sexy that you asked. Good luck girl, hopefully this will help him unload. (;

Hi, i love your blog! :)
I have a question, can your vagina re-tighten?
Like my boyfriend is in the army and he left for about 4 months, we had had sex a lot before he left and i never had a problem; he just came back and we were intimate again but when he it in i felt pain and it was really uncomfortable, he never felt like it was tight or anything but it seemed like he couldn’t get his penis in. Did my vagina re-tighten? Or is my body repelling him? Ha, i’m just really confused. Thanks for reading! :)

Hi, well thank you, I appreciate it. (: Well first let me say that your body is not repelling your boyfriend. It is quite possible that your vagina became tighter slightly because you have not been penetrated for a while. But it’s not like your vagina is going to close up or anything like that. There have been instances where hymens have regrown in women who haven’t had sex in a while, however this is extremely RARE and I don’t think that’s what’s going on with you. Personally I think you just weren’t lubed up enough naturally; this is quite common for women who haven’t had sex for a while, and it should decrease as you and your boyfriend have more sex. My suggestion for you is to make sure pre-sex that you are very aroused mentally and have your boyfriend stimulate you either manually or orally to get the natural arousal juices flowin’ (; I also suggest using a synthetic lubricant for a while until things go back to normal, it will make sex a lot more comfortable for you both. Hope this helps, happy humping. (:

I really want to have sex, but I am really self-conscious of my body. When I was going through puberty I got stretch marks on my booty. I tried just about anything to try to get them to fade away, but nothing works. Do guys get turned off my them? I am girl, 18 years old.

It always makes me so sad when I get questions about girls being self-conscious about their bodies enough to make them think that they aren’t sexy enough! Well let me tell you something honey, coming from a girl who also has insecurities, we are all beautiful and unique no matter what our bodies look like. Everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, things that they think others will find unattractive but the trick is to see past those insecurities and realize you are a sex vixen and any man would be lucky to see that fine booty of yours! A lot of young women have stretch marks, even before they have children, this is not uncommon at all. I actually have a few where my thigh meets my hip, but I don’t let it get to me. The trick is to see beyond the exterior and make yourself think like a sex goddess and tell yourself that you are damn sexy and then portray that feeling from the inside out! Here’s another secret: the male species loves the booty and they are not going to be focusing on the little details that compose it; they are going to be focused on having something to grab onto during a good sack session. (; Portray confidence when the next sexual opportunity presents itself, even if you don’t quite feel it, because your partner will notice and appreciate it, hopefully allowing you to embrace it as well. I’m sure your booty is beautiful just the way it is and any guy in the world would like to have a piece of that. I hope this helps you feel that way too and gain some sexy confidence in yourself. Much love girl. <33

Hey, I love your blog its brilliant, its given me loads of new ideas, and im pretty adventerous so its been fun!
my question is more about blow jobs tho. i dont know if u can help me, coz everything ive taut of doesn seem to be working..
But anyways, when Im giving him head i can tell hes enjoying it, his hands clench into fists, he moans a bit an says my name an stuff, but he cant come, he said its because his ex always used to spit it out an it turned him off so much that he stopped coming in her mouth, and now hes convinced i’ll hate it too. Ive told him i like it, and ive also told him i dont spit it out coz i feel really rude an the taste doesnt bother me in the slightest, but hes paranoid so badly that he cant let go enough to come.. ive suggested using a condom so he can feel better about not coming in my mouth, but he doesnt like using them, we only use them whne we have sex because i refuse to test the contraceptive pill that thuroghly. (i cant spell..) any ideas to what i could do to help him enjoy oral to the full?
-Robyn, 19

Hey Robyn! I’m glad you’re getting some sexy use out of the blog, that’s what I’m here for. (; Let me say firstly that I am so sorry to hear your boyfriend’s predicament. I know that this problem of his must be terribly frustrating for you, making you feel like a failure for not giving him pleasure to the fullest. I understand where he is coming from, because sometimes unfortunately past sexual experiences can shape our new ones. So an unpleasant ex-experience can definitely have some consequences on your sexual relationship. I can say though, that I’m really proud of you for doing what you have already done though by talking to your guy and encouraging him, explaining that you’re different than his ex and even offering suggestions to help the problem. That’s so great! Communication is a big deal and you need to continue to encourage him in the blowjob department. Tell him you love the way he tastes and that you love pleasing him. A suggestion you could do to encourage your guy to “let go” if your boyfriend doesn’t like condoms is to entice him to cum in a sexy way. For example, if he’s feeling guilty about cumming in your mouth perhaps you could try having him cum on a different part of your body such as your stomach, or better yet, your breasts. For guys, sexual release on a woman’s breasts can be a very erotic experience. Once he gets comfortable with that and even enjoys it, then you work your way up to having him release in your mouth. If you’re looking for some new techniques, try looking at the above first question for some good tips to enhance your guy’s blowjob experience. I hope this helps at least a little, good luck!

Lovelovelove the blog. I’ve asked you questions before and you haven’t let me down, so here I am again for more advice. =)
Anyway, my partner and I have talked about masturbation before. He is aware that I sometimes masturbate and knows where and how I have done it. Recently he has been telling me that he’d love to watch me masturbate. The first time he mentioned this I was pretty uncomfortable with the idea. But the more I think about it and the more I get used to the idea, the more I think I’d like to do this for him. I’m just not sure how to go about it…
Do I tell him I’m about to do it and let him watch? Do I just do it and let him realize what’s happening? And where should I be? What should I do? While I’m more open to the idea, I still find the whole thing a little weird and am not sure how to go about it. Any advice or suggestions would be great. Thanks in advance!

Well awesome! A repeat offender! I am so happy that I could help you out with some of your previous questions, let’s see what I can come up with for you this time. (: Firstly I want to tell you that I think it’s truly great that you’re open to the idea of letting your guy watch you masturbate! I have talked about this a lot that it’s a really great way to add some spice to your sex life because you can really show your partner what gets you off. It can be an extremely rewarding and erotic experience for both partners. I actually think you have some sexy freedom here to really surprise your guy. (; You can definitely go about it by telling your guy what you’re about to do, but of course by doing so in a sex kitten way! While things are getting hot and heavy and your guy is about to give you a little finger pleasure, stop him and sexily whisper something to him such as, “let me show you what feels good…” then do your own hands-on activities. (; He’ll be in absolute awe that you’re doing this for him! You can absolutely also just surprise him without warning too, that’s just as sexy. You could plan for him to “accidentally” walk in on you while you’re giving yourself some love, perhaps with you being naked on the bed while he strolls in. Tell him something to get out of the room, like asking him to get whip cream or something sexy from the kitchen, then when he comes back be spread-eagle on the bed. He’ll be in such shock, let’s hope he doesn’t spray that whip cream everywhere! (; I think either way you go about it my dear you’re going to get a fabulous response from your guy, so feel free to be creative. Again, I think it’s really great that you’re doing this, hope this was helpful and have fun! (;

heres a question i keep forgetting to ask you bestie! the boy and i were lounging around the night before he left and for some reason the topic of what makes you taste the best came up. and he said that for women, being a vegetarian was best for taste, and for men, he said hot sauce. right after he said that i said i would check with you. lol so bestieface, whats the truth about what the boy said? :) miss you already.

Yep everyone, this question comes from my best friend. (: Well bestie, I don’t want to be the know-it-all but your boy is slightly misinformed. He is actually correct about women that being vegetarian does have it’s benefits; mainly because of the consuming high amounts of fruits and vegetables. But in all reality, being vegetarian has a higher benefit for MEN! Why is this? Because most fruits; particularly melons, pineapples, lemons etc. have such a high natural sugar content aiding in the amount of fructose in your boy’s semen making it taste a lot sweeter. Also vegetables make semen taste sweeter besides for veggies in the cabbage family, which actually have the opposite effect and meats will make the semen taste salty…so I think you can catch my drift in why being vegetarian is the best option to make semen taste better. Now here is where your boy is misinformed: hot sauce actually is something you want to AVOID for making semen taste better. This is because onions, garlic and chili pepper contain a high amount of sulfur which will make his semen taste bitter. So hopefully this helps clear up his little misconception! Miss you too. <33

Number one, i love your blog (:but number two, i have a question. I haven’t done that much, just hard core make out sessions and stuff. I want to go farther with my boyfriend but idk what to do. Like when he’s fingering me, what am ia supposed to do?Same with a hand job,

Thank you, I’m glad you enjoy the blog. (: First let me say that it’s perfectly okay that you haven’t done much, don’t ever do anything until you feel completely prepared and ready to do so. Butttt if you feel your relationship moving in that direction I can definitely give you some basics that will ease some of your nerves. (: Well to be honest my dear, when your boyfriend is fingering you, the biggest advice I can give you is just to enjoy yourself, let go, and allow yourself to slip into the wonderful world of orgasm! (: Little tip? Make it known to your guy what you like and what you don’t like. Don’t be shy about it; feel free to moan when something feels good or talk dirty to your guy and if something doesn’t feel good tell your guy also. The best way for you to enjoy this experience is to figure out what makes you feel good and make that known to your guy so he can do his job-pleasing you. (: Now let’s move on to the handjob for your guy. The great thing about handjobs is that you will know when you’re doing something right; it’s really that simple. Guys are much easier to figure out when they achieve orgasm. Basics? Start with a firm grip-don’t be afraid of the penis, love the penis! The firmer your grip, the more friction he will feel, which is a good thing, that’s what you want. (: Now once you have the grip down, slide your hand up and down his shaft increasing in your speed the closer he is to orgasm. If you want two quick “tricks” try remembering these two simple things: two hands are better than one and don’t ignore the love sacs! Go ahead and play with his balls if you’re up to it, that will really get him going, just make sure you’re gentle with those little guys. If you just memorize these basic ideas, you’re sure to have a good first experience. Hope this helps! (:

So, my boyfriend and I have a pretty great sexual relationship. He’s totally into everything I do and I’m most definitely into him. We’re trying new things recently (outfits, assplay.. a few more things I don’t even want to admit to on the internet..) but he wants me to talk dirty to him. Which is cool, he does it to me sometimes and I’m reasonably into it. But, I have to admit, I am still shy to say things to him during sex. How should I start opening up to him by talking dirty? I feel embarrassed to say what I want him to do to me or if something feels really good. I keep relatively quiet until orgasm so I don’t know.. I’d feel weird and phony from one day being quiet as a mouse to the next saying really raunchy dirty things out of nowhere. How can I work my way up? And another question.. how on earth could I make the demand “eat me out” actually sexy? It doesn’t sound too appealing to me. Thank you!

The great thing about talking dirty is that you can make it as simple or complicated as you want. (: It’s totally open to interpretation and what the couple is into. I think the best way for to you start opening up to him and start your dirty talking is to start by telling him how he makes you feel. Saying things to him like “that feels really good,” or “you feel so good inside me,” or “i love when you touch me there,” although these are small gestures, they are still considered dirty talk and can be a great way to open yourself up to that! You should not feel embarrassed to tell your man what you want, men love women who take control verbally simply because they love knowing that what they’re doing to us makes us feel good! And this is not something to be ashamed of. If you start off slowly just telling your boyfriend what makes you feel good, I think you’ll be surprised how easily the more “raunchy” side of you will come to play. (; As far as your second question goes, it all depends on what you’re comfortable doing and how you want to approach it. If you’re uncomfortable verbalizing your request, you can always take the guy’s approach…try gently (not forcefully!) moving your guy’s head toward your lady parts. He will most definitely get the hint! Or if you do want to try amping up your dirty talk you can try things like, “I like your tongue on me,” or “your tongue feels so good,” or even to be very blunt, “she (as in your pussy) likes your tongue just as much as I do…” any kind of reference to his tongue should be enough for him to realize what you want. Like I said, it all depends on what you’re comfortable with. Hopefully this helps a little, good luck and don’t be afraid to let the naughty side of you show! (;

Hellllo. So I’ve been dating this guy for a little over a month. I’m 19 and a virgin, he’s 25 and much more experienced. I really like him and feel totally comfortable with him, so the other night I sort of tried to initiate sex, but he said he didn’t want to because he’d feel bad for taking my virginity, and he doesn’t want to break my heart, etc. I’m…not sure what to do here. I feel like the roles are completely reversed…

Well hello. I’m glad that you found a guy that you really like and feel really comfortable with, but are you sure you’re ready to lose your virginity to him after only a month? I’m not here to judge, it’s definitely your decision, but perhaps that’s why your guy, being the more experienced one is delaying sex. He sounds like he has very good intentions with you, and that’s such a great find in a guy, so congrats on that! But maybe he’s denying you because he wants to make sure you are really ready to have sex. I think that’s very respectful of him. If you think you are truly ready to lose your virginity to him, then I think you need to have a sit-down conversation with him and tell him how you feel. That you feel very comfortable with him and you want him to be the one to take your virginity, tell him that he shouldn’t be feeling guilty about it because it’s what you want. I think once you convey how you’re feeling to him and explain that him taking your virginity doesn’t make him the “bad guy” I think you guys can come to an agreement about the time and place for this to take place. Hope this was helpful, good luck!

Hi Taylorann! I am absolutely IN LOVE with your blog, girl! :) haha but anyway, I have a question. (DUH) lol. Okay, so my first time was very scary, and I thought I was ready but really wasn’t. Plus, when we had sex it was just the absolute, beginning and it was only like, thirty seconds and not pleasurable AT ALL. But it didn’t hurt so it’s not like I was traumatized! ;) I eventually found out he was a total jerk and we haven’t talked since we did it, but here is where my question comes to play. Why is it that after such a horrible first time, I am CONSTANTLY craving to have sex. Like, it feels like an obsession! I have my condom laying at home, just wanting a guy to come in and just fulfill my pleasure! I am so confused haha. Help?
Sincerely, Borderline Sex Addict?

Hi Borderline Sex Addict-Haha. Firstly, I’ve got to clear up your pseudonym because you are not a sex addict! Being in the study that I am, it really bothers me when people call themselves sex addicts because sex addiction is actually a very real disorder that often masks other psychological disorders, which I am seriously doubting you have! Sooo…I think you’re just a very horny girl, which is just fine! haha. (: It’s a perfectly normal thing to feel extremely horny after having sex for the first time, particularly if it wasn’t an enjoyable experience. This is because we see and hear all over the place how wonderful sex is and we crave to have that perfect sexual experience! You are constantly craving to feel that pleasure that you missed out on and that’s just fine also. My suggestion for you my dear, while your waiting for the man of your sexual dreams to fulfill your pleasure haha, is to indulge yourself in some self-love to tame the craving. Yes, I mean masturbation. I would definitely look into trying that out; not only will your sexual craving simmer down because you’ll be satisfied, but also when the next guy comes around, you’ll know what you want and you can instruct him on how to give it to you. (; If you want to talk masturbation techniques-just let me know in another question and we can go over some if you’re confused, but hopefully this will atleast give you somewhere to start focusing that sexual frustration! <3

Alrighty so I’m 16, still a virgin and I’ve got a boyfriend that I’ve been going out with for a year. I guess you can say we’re moving pretty slow because I don’t even like to french kiss, reason being is because I don’t wanna feel stupid because I don’t exactly know how to. So how do I french kiss him without feeling so awkward and stupid. (he’s more experienced then I am) & another question, basic blowjob? Again, I don’t wanna feel/look stupid, I want some kind of knowledge of how to perform one. Help-greatly appreciated! :) Thank you!

Hello my dear. (: It’s perfectly fine for you to be moving slow with your boyfriend, I’m glad you guys found a pace that works well for you. French kissing is one of those things that usually comes naturally; the first time a lot of the time is going to feel awkward, but people usually realize how awesome and intimate it is and they forget all about the awkwardness! (: Some basic guidelines I can give you, but I know you’ll eventually find your own rhythm and then it will feel second nature to you. Lesson number 1 is to control your tongue. No slobbering all over your boyfriend’s face please! That is definitely not sexy. A good rule of thumb is not to stick your entire tongue in his mouth, but more be a “tease” with your tongue by putting just a little bit of it in and letting it work it’s magic! (; You don’t need to jam your tongue down your guy’s throat to be a good kisser. Lesson number 2 is to control your breathing. Breathing is actually an extremely erotic part of kissing and can turn you on more than you realize. Try breathing into your guy’s open mouth (perhaps after a good mouthwash rinse or a breath mint!) and try to time it so he is doing the same thing into yours. Being that intimate with someone is truly sexy. Lesson number 3 is to switch things up. You can’t just lick your boyfriend’s mouth all the time! Try switching up the way you kiss him with some closed mouth smooches as well, along with occasional sucking on his bottom lip or tongue. The great thing about sucking on his tongue or lip? It will make him think of you sucking on his penis. (; Which is where your next question comes in! To give a basic blowjob you need to put yourself in the right mind set, because otherwise your gag reflex could definitely show up! You need to think about how great you’re making your guy feel instead of focusing on the fact that you have your boyfriend’s penis in your mouth. Now when you’re ready, take your boyfriend’s penis into your mouth and close your lips (not teeth!) around his shaft. You want to slowly move his penis in and out of your mouth while your sucking on it-same basic principle with a handjob, suck as hard as you wish, the more friction the better. You can also use your tongue to swirl around the head of his penis or use your hands to get a better grip while you’re giving him head. Those are some basic techniques, if you want more advanced moves, I gave some blowjob tips in previous questions on this post! Hopefully this helps you out and makes things less awkward and more enjoyable for you. (:

Oh my gosh, Taylor. Okay, so… I decided to have sex with my boyfriend after being a virgin. He is the one. I had sex with him and now he wont do it again with me because he wants to be “good”. I’m 17 and we’re being safe about what we do. It’s just …. I want to do it again! and He wont!! What do I do? Do I seduce him? If so…How? To tell you the truth…I want to seduce him.

Oh dear girl, sounds like you are definitely in a predicament! People always think that guys are the sex fiends, so it’s extremely frustrating when we find ourselves wanting sex more than our boyfriends do and I can totally understand and sympathize with that, let me tell you. haha. I think you definitely need to try seducing him, especially if that is something that you want to try. Seduction is extremely sexy! The first thing you need is confidence confidence confidence. You need to think of yourself as a sex goddess that your man will never be able to resist, because if you don’t believe that, you won’t convince him that you are! Now…I suggest a sexy outfit to be involved-I don’t know what your “parental situation” is and how much time/room you have to get really sexy, but to tell you the truth a simple sexy dress that’s tight and shows off your assets will work just fine or even a super-short mini-skirt. Plus it’s always nice to be wearing a new sexy bra and panties underneath that. (; Wear that the next time you go out or come over, his eyes will immediately be drawn to you and his mind will start going-whether he admits it or not! The next thing to do is to make him want you through touch..don’t be afraid to go get what you want girl! I’ve found being very direct to work extremely well in seduction. Caress his inner thighs, trace your hands over his stomach and penis, kiss his neck, or just climb on top of him and start passionately making out with him. If that doesn’t get the message across, I don’t know what will! The point is to be direct, confident and sexy; make yourself irresistible to him no matter how “good” he wants to be. Good luck girl and you get your man! (;

hey taylorann! what are some positions for my guy to finger me? and like is it a sexual act of it’s own or does it happen while we’re making out or what?

Hey there. (: I’m going to answer your second question first actually. Fingering can be either a sexual act on it’s own or you can do it while making out-that’s really up to you and your guy. A lot of couples find it extremely sexy to engage in mutual masturbation while making out-that way both your mouths and hands are occupied. (; Other couples want to get straight to it! That’s totally up to you and totally fine either way you chose. As far as your second question goes, you can virtually have your guy finger you in any position that is comfortable for you. You can be sitting, standing, laying down, any way you want. You can also have your guy finger you facing you or from behind, whichever way feels good to you and hits all the right angles. Trying out different angles while your guy fingers you will help you find out exactly what feels good and what doesn’t so feel free to experiment until you find the right combination. Hopefully this helps! (:

Is it normal for my vagina to feel swollen and in lots of pain after having sex for a long time? Should I see my doctor?

If you have sex for an extended period of time, especially rough sex, it is very normal for you to feel sore and have your labia be swollen. This is because the penis is producing a lot of friction along your vaginal walls and opening. The vagina is made of very sensitive tissue and that is just it’s way of reacting to such intense friction. If however the pain and swelling doesn’t go away after about 3 days or so after having sex, then it’s time to go see your doctor just to make sure you don’t have any kind of infection. Hope this was helpful.