Hey guys, I am so sorry for not posting the questions for this week on Monday but I received about 30 of them over the past two weeks! And I’ve been extremely busy party planning and pole dancing…no joke, among other things that I just haven’t had time to sit down and answer all of them. Since I received so many I’m going to post them in two parts; the first part tonight and the second tomorrow. Thank you all so much for the questions, I appreciate each and every one of you. <3 And I promise that starting next week you’re in for a treat, because I’m going to do another “theme” for the week, so be sure to check it out! Thanks again and here we go with the first 15 questions. (:

Hi Taylorann, fellow sex therapy student here. I LOVE your blog. Woo solidarity.

Just wanted to add a couple things:

to the shaving question:

When washing the mons it helps to use a washcloth or loofah to exfoliate the area before shaving to ensure a clean, close shave. It also helps to make gentle exfoliation a daily routine to avoid ingrown hairs.

When razor burn and ingrown hairs are really bad — Although it has alcohol, Medicated Bikini Zone Gel has worked wonders for me! It has a bit of lidocane to soothe the itchy burn and the alcohol dries out tiny pimples/blemishes, which I happen to be particularly vulnerable to.

to the wrinkly labia question: Taylorann, you offered excellent, positive, self-loving advice for this! I just wanted to add that I have “outie” labia too. I actually started a conversation with my friends by just coming out with it. At first they were like “huh, that’s weird…” until seconds later I heard a few, “hey me too’s!” I joke that I have a sandwich with some lettuce sticking out. Who needs cookie cutter sandwich filllings? Not me!

Well thank you so much for the praise! I really appreciate it and woo hoo for sex therapy! (: Well to you ladies from the last post about shaving down there and to the girl who was thinking about labia reconstruction surgery, this comment goes out to you guys. <3 Thanks again, I’m really glad you love the blog! Peace, Love and Sex Therapy, Girl! :D

Im going to sound like everyone else but oh well, i abosolutly love your blog im so happy i found it. Anyways i am a virgin, i choose abstinence, but now that ive turned 19 and im in college i kinda dont care anymore, i feel like being a virgin is holding me back and at the same time i dont want to give it up cause i really want to give myself to the person i love also i dont want stds or pregnancies so early in my life. everyone pretty much knows i choose abstinence but i hate when i bring a boyfriend home my mom will say “well just as long as he knows he not getting anything from you” and its agitating because what was once was all my own choice, is now controlled. does that make sense, if i want to have sex then i want to its no one elses decision. also my best friend who i kinda feel like is my unofficial boyfriend, he will say if i have sex hed be dissappointed in me. but truth is i love him so i feel that now the only thing holding me from having sex is cause i want to be with him and vice versa. i guess im just confused, am i waiting for the right reasons, or am i wanting to have sex for the wrong ones? any advice?

Well firstly, thanks for the praise, I’m glad you found my blog too. (: Secondly, I’m going to agree with you about your mother. Choosing to be abstinent should be no one’s decision but yours. It is a personal choice and only you should be able to decide why you want to do it. I don’t think you’re wanting to have sex for the wrong reasons at all and I do think you’re waiting for the right reasons, so I agree with both. hah. I do not think you should choose to lose your virginity just to “be de-virginized,” or because everyone is doing it. Choosing to lose your virginity is a very special thing and I think you are making the right choice to have sex when you’re ready and with the person you love. Having sex for the first time with someone you’re comfortable with, have a deep emotional connection with and that you love is definitely worth the wait. If you have all of these things with a first-time partner it will feel like the special event it should be and will actually ease the physical pain of it because you will be more relaxed and comfortable. Now onto another topic entirely…so are you saying that you are in love with your guy best friend and he’s in love with you? If this is true, I can understand him saying, “he’ll be disappointed in you” for having sex, because obviously IT WOULDN’T BE WITH HIM. What I’m saying is, I think you should tell your best friend how you’re feeling. Tell him you don’t want to disappoint him by having sex until you find someone you love, and then tell him how you feel about him. Tell him that you’re in love with him and see what he says. I think there could be a fairytale waiting to happen here. (: In short, you’re not a virgin for the wrong reasons, and you wanting to have sex is perfectly normal, there is no guidebook on when you should lose your virginity. If you’re waiting for the guy you’re head over heels for, I think you may have found him, you just need to talk to him about how you feel. Good luck, I hope this was helpful, and I wish you the best!

Hi Taylorann! I have a little problem that i was hoping you could help me with(:. I’m 15 and a virgin but i masturbate. I only masturbate by rubbing my clitoris because whenever i stick a finger in my vagina, i don’t feel that certain “feeling” you’re supposed to feel. I’ve tried looking for my G-spot but i can’t find it. As much fun as rubbing my clit is, i wanna try to orgasm a different way. Could you help me with this?

Hi! There are many different things you can do to try and orgasm a different way than just rubbing your clitoris. Sticking with that though, a clitoral orgasm can be great but perhaps you just need some new sensations to try out? If you agree there are many ways to accomplish this. Firstly, vibrators. Oh how lovely those little buzzing toys are! Your fingers can’t vibrate, so the orgasm you get from this new sensation could blow you away. If you can’t buy a vibrator, you can pretty much use anything that buzzes or vibrates. Try a personal massager or even your cell phone! You can rub your clit on fabrics such as on furniture or against stuffed animals to produce a different sensation. Another great thing I can recommend is using your shower head if it is detachable. Shower heads produce some pretty fantastic orgasms and you can alternate the temperature of the water giving you a “hot” or “chilly” surprise. (; Now let’s focus on that G-spot! To find your G-spot, sit in a comfortable position with your legs spread wide. If you’re not completely turned on, you may want to put some lube on your fingers so they enter the vagina easier and can go deeper into the vagina. Take your hand (I find the hand you write with to work best for this!) and with your palm facing up, insert two fingers into your vagina and go about two inches in, then go about two inches straight up. The G-Spot is on the upper vaginal wall and it’s going to feel like a thick fleshy pad, similar to the roof of your mouth. To stimulate it manually; make a “come here” motion with those two fingers and see if you get a response from your body. As for things to do this for you? Vibrators (the kind that vibrate all the way through) work well for this and so do dildos. You can buy yourself a real dildo or you can find things that will work like one. Surprisingly…you can use a peeled cucumber, the end of a hairbrush (not the end that combs your hair!), or a curling iron (not turned on obviously!) as a dildo! Just make sure you use lube with them and wash them thoroughly before and after you use them. Hopefully this helps you out and you find that magic pleasure button, enjoy your self-love! (:

Ello, I just thought i’d say that I love your blog. And I have a question, from a guy’s perspective since i don’t see much of that here. Is it normal to be turned on by…not exactly words, but more of along the lines of text. Whenever I talk to my female bestfriend about sexual subjects, it usually turns me on to no end. It’s not dirty talk, it’s actually a bit of intellectual discussion on random subjects encompassing sex, but i get really turned on by it. Is it normal and any thoughts or opinions?

Well hello. (: I am just thrilled that a guy asked a question! You are very right that there aren’t many on here from a guy’s point of view, so your question is appreciated! I can happily tell you that you are perfectly normal. There is no rule-book for turn-ons. It can be anything, and especially for guys, sometimes your little buddy is up and running and you have no idea why, right?! It’s perfectly normal to be turned on by conversations about sex, whether they be nasty or intellectual and informational. I’d like to take a poll for how many people get turned on just by reading my blog everyday! It just happens. Also a factor that may (or may not) contribute to this…are you physically attracted to your female best friend at all? A lot of times, we don’t consciously realize it but our brains register that an attractive person is talking about sex with us and we automatically get aroused by it. You’re very normal, and I think you’d be surprised to find out that a lot of people probably have the same turn-on. Hope this was helpful and thanks for being a guy. hah. (:

hi! your blog is amazing =] so my boyfriend and i are planning on having sex soon. it’s going to be both our first times, and i was just wondering something. i’m not sure if my hymen is still intact. so do you think that if it was there it would be less painful for me if he went in fast to break it quickly, or to go in slowly initially?

Hi! And thank you very much! (: To be quite honest with you, it really depends on the person for which method would be least painful. And it depends on what you’re comfortable with doing. If you are okay with the fact that there could quite possibly be some blood and very sharp pain, and if you think you can bare through it no problem without stopping, then going quickly might be best for you two. However, I actually think I would rather see you guys go slowly and stop if the pain gets too much for you. You can always try again and ease the penis into your vagina. I would suggest you talk it over with your boyfriend and see what he thinks and what he’s comfortable with. But personally? I’d say go slow. But that’s just me. (: Take some precautions though either way; wear a condom (of course!), make sure you’re ready and really turned on and you want it, use lube if necessary to make things more comfortable for you, and make sure your guy fingers you before you have sex! That will loosen things up a bit and make penetration easier. Hope this helps, I hope you guys have a great first time. (:

sometimes my boyfriend goes soft during sex. what’s the deal?! not like, round 2 sex either.. it’s like, we’ll have a hot little make out session, a little oral foreplay, then we start to have sex and sometimes he just loses his hard-on.. why does this happen and how can we stop it! :)) thanks taylorann!!

In all reality there could be many reasons why this could be happening to your boyfriend. One reason could be he may have a lot of stress in his life currently that could be affecting his sex drive. This is quite common and not a lot of people think about these things before they have sex with their partner. A way to prevent it if this is the case is to simply make sure he’s relaxed. My suggestion? Give him a super sexy massage in your lingerie with warm oil before sex; not only will it loosen up his muscles and hit other erogenous zones on his body, but seeing you in your lingerie will definitely be a great turn on for him. Another reason could be that your getting him too close to climax during your oral foreplay. My suggestion for this is to instead give him a handjob for a bit, you will be able to keep pressure on the penis aiding in arousal but also have better control over how close he is to climax. Don’t have too much foreplay or it could definitely (for him) lead to going soft during your sack session. Another suggestion to try is using a cock-ring on him. These rest at the base of the shaft and are designed to cut off a little bit of circulation keeping the penis erect. You can get them at your local sex shop in a variety of sizes, shapes, colors and materials. If this problem that he has doesn’t go away no matter what you try, then it’s time for him to go see someone, particularly a sex therapist. They will really be able to diagnose the problem if it’s serious; I’m not a professional YET so I can’t accurately do that for you, sorry. I really hope this helps, good luck!

lately when my boyfriend and i have had sex and i’ve been on top i’ve gotten these horrible pains in my stomach. pains so bad that i become completely turned off and am close to tears. do you know what’s going on with me??

There are several things that could be going on with you. Firstly; the size of your guy does matter on this one. Is your guy really big? If so, that could cause stomach pain when you’re on top, because he is so deep in. Another thing that could cause this is that your guy may be hitting your cervix, this is especially if you have a tilted pelvis. The only way to find out about this is to go to your gynecologist. Stomach pains during sex can also be caused by certain STDs (i.e. Chlamydia), so I’d definitely suggest going to get checked out by your doctor just to be sure. Stomach pains can also be caused by a variety of conditions involving your uterus, fallopian tubes or ovaries. These are all pretty serious, and if you keep experiencing this pain DEFINITELY go see your gynecologist about it, he/she will be able to help you out. The best advice I can give you on this one is to go talk to your doctor ASAP! Hope this helps and that your pain goes away soon!

I was wondering what are some of the best ways to give a handjob? Though I am pretty sexually experienced, I still feel awkward giving a handjob because I feel like I am doing it wrong or that it doesn’t feel good enough for my man.
Oh and thank you for making this blog, it has been so helpful!

Well you’re very welcome, I’m glad the blog is useful for you! The thing about handjobs is that you really can’t do them wrong. As long as the hand is gripping the penis and moving, it’s all good. hah. :p The most important thing is the grip. A lot of girls have a misconception about this because they think they’re going to “hurt” their man if they grip too hard. This is not the case. Don’t be afraid of the penis, love the penis, want the penis. Grip it firmly, because the better you grip it, the more friction he is going to feel! Another thing is speed. Start of slowly if you want, and the more turned on your guy gets, the faster you go. You should be able to tell by his body language how he’s feeling. Another really good rule of thumb is “two hands are better than one.” Try using both your hands either moving in the same direction up and down or you can try this trick to blow his mind: put both hands on his shaft and alternate directions with your hands (i.e. one hand moves clockwise, the other counter-clockwise). You can do this in place or move your hands up and down while also twisting them. Your choice. Also using your mouth to work the tip of his penis while your hands work the shaft is a sure-fire way to pleasing your man! Boys love the “combo”. Hopefully these tips will work out well for you and you’ll get the response from your guy that you’re looking for. (;

hey taylorann! i love your blog, its helped me so much with my new and blooming sexual relationship with my boyfriend.
heres the run down; i was a virgin, he was not, he didnt want to use a condom, so i let it slide- multiple times. i recognized the stupidity of the situation, talked to my parents and got a prescription for birth control, but haven’t started it yet.
… i took a pregnancy test this morning. and I’m pregnant.
there’s no was i can follow through with this pregnancy, as I am 17, about to graduate and go to college. i was wondering if you have ever been in this situation, or if you have any information that might be helpful… i’ve been doing my own research of it online. i’ve only told my mom, and she’s been very supportive. i dont know if im going to tell my boyfriend yet. (sorry this was so long, i havent been able to talk it out with anyone)
thank you so so much,
cameron

Hi Cameron. (: I’m glad you love the blog and that I could give you some useful information. I am so very sorry for your situation, truly I am. And it’s always when we finally realize our mistakes that we also realize we can’t go back and fix them. I’m not going to preach at you about how you should’ve used a condom because it’s not my place to tell you how to run your sex life. I’m also not going to tell you that I know how you’re feeling, because I have not been in your situation. However, I do sympathize with you because I have had far too many pregnancy scares for my liking; including one which ended up with me taking a Plan B emergency contraception pill on Christmas Eve and I know how it feels to even think you could be pregnant and just be graduating high school, getting ready for college and the rest of your life. It’s fucking scary. I won’t even lie to you. I’m sure you know by now that if you choose to keep the baby, it will change your entire life; both for the better and worse, depending on how you look at it. By saying that “there’s no way you can follow through with the pregnancy” does that mean that you have chosen to terminate the pregnancy with an abortion method? If so, and I don’t judge people EVER based on their personal choices, so I’m going to give you some facts only. There are three methods that I am familiar with (there could be more, I’m not an expert yet). One method is the aspiration method, which is used up to 16 weeks after your last period and is basically the “vacuum” method. Another method is called the Dilation & Evacuation method (D&E) and it is done after 16 weeks past your last period (so slightly later in the pregnancy). The last method is the abortion pill which can be used very early in the pregnancy-up until 9 weeks after your last period-it’s done in 3 steps, all of which you can read about on Planned Parenthood’s website: plannedparenthood.org (this website is very informative and easy to read, that’s why I recommend it). Your gynecologist will know all about these methods. If I misread your question and you want to have the baby, adoption is always something to consider. Whatever you choose honey, do it for you, talk to your mom and definitely tell your boyfriend…soon, when you’re ready. Do what is best for you and your family. Anyway you slice it; being pregnant changes your life in one way or another and my heart goes out to you because of it. Good luck with everything, I hope this was at least somewhat helpful. I know you’ll make the right choice for you. Much love. <3

Tayluhh! I would like to tell you that I found your wedsite this afternoon and I must say, I’m hooked! :) I will most likely be a regular visitor from now on! Now on to my first question(s). I’m 17 and one of my best guy friends and I tend to ‘get together’ every now and then and we have a good time. You know? ;) Hah we aren’t dating (obviously) but we keep all of this to ourselves to not make it weird and to have our other friends stay out of it and we act normal around other people. Leave us in a room though, alone, together and hot damnnn. We get into it and he wants to go farther next time. I’m okay with getting fingered or giving a hand job (although I’m not exactly confident with that and if I’d be good) but he wants head and to go downstairs on me too. Well I have braces and I hear that is bad to give head and I’m not sure why. Can you explain why that is to me?.. (emparrassing for me to ask) I’m also not sure if I’m ready for him to go down on me yet, I’m kinda self conscious about it all. I don’t know exactly why I am. I guess its just the inexperience. We both don’t want to have sex yet but we both want more. We have made out with different people in the past but both of us are first timers with all of this, he just seems so much more confident than I am. Can you tell me ways for us to have a great time with and without all of that? ;) Thanks a bunch!

Hey Girl! I am so very happy that you like the blog and I’ll do my best to keep good things coming for you. (: Now onto your first question about braces. Giving a guy head with braces SHOULD NOT be a painful experience for him if done properly. The trick to a good blowjob is to use the tongue and the lips to pleasure your guy; no where in that sentence was the word TEETH. When you’re sucking, your lips should cover the front of your teeth where the braces are and they shouldn’t touch his penis. I don’t suggest using your teeth during a blowjob until those braces are off though…it could result in some metal-on-skin contact that could be not so pleasant. But as long as you avoid the chompers and just focus on the lips and tongue, you should be good my dear. (: Now onto your next question. You should never do anything you aren’t comfortable with; it won’t be enjoyable for you or your guy. Great sexual acts only happen when both parties are comfortable and relaxed and ready for a good time. (; So if your guy eating you out is something that scares you, it’s perfectly fine to wait until you’re ready. There are other sexy things you guys can do together if you want to spice things up though, that don’t involve oral sex necessarily. You can try things like giving each other sexy massages, watching each other masturbate and then trying to mimic the moves on each other (;, taking a steamy shower together (if it’s available) or doing a sexy dance/strip tease for your man. All of these will get the blood boiling and don’t involve oral sex unless of course you want them to. hah. Hopefully this helps a little bit for you, for tips and tricks about different sexual acts you can look back at past weeks’ questions, I have given a lot of people fun ideas on there. Good luck and have fun!

My boyfriend and I are both virgins. But not for lack of trying. We’ve tried multiple times to get him in, but nothing seems to work. He gets in slightly past the head, and then it hurts too bad to go any farther. Also it seems the only position that works is him on his back, me on all fours, and his penis going in. We’ve tried me on bottom and me on top (him sitting, me straddling) and it hurts so bad he can’t even get in past the very tip of the head. I’m frustrated because no one else seems to have this problem and I feel like I’m broken. Help?

Okay first of all, you’re not broken, but I can definitely see where you can get frustrated from this. I really think your problem is that your hymen hasn’t been broken all the way yet and your boyfriend keeps hitting that “wall” when you try to have sex and that’s why it hurts. My suggestion for this is to do A LOT of foreplay first, which shouldn’t be that difficult of a task if you ask me. (; Foreplay is great because it gets you even more aroused and ready for sex by letting your body make its natural lubricant. I also suggest using lube to help ease the pain a little. It may take a while to break the hymen, so I would suggest giving yourself some TLC to stretch it. Masturbating is a great way to do this, especially with a vibrator that can be placed into your vagina and pushed against the hymen. As far as sex positions go, until the hymen is broken, anything is going to hurt, but missionary is probably your best bet as it causes the least stress. If I were you I would plan a trip to your gynecologist and have them check to see if your hymen is still intact, and if it is, ask them what might be causing your discomfort. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, asking your doctor will provide you with a correct diagnosis and will help you fix your problem faster so you can enjoy great sex sooner! I hope this helps, good luck!

Hey,

Firstly, let me say that I feel in the minority being a strait man reading your tumblr and asking a question, but I really would like some advice on a small problem I have.
And it is small in more than one sense because I’m particularly taller than my girlfriend (I’m 5’11” and she’s about 5’1”), which makes some things we would like to do in sex difficult. Do you have any advice for couples with a big height difference, besides awkward positions for me?

Hey, well thanks for the question! You are definitely right that you are in the minority because most of my questions come from women, but that’s okay, I appreciate your question! 10” is quite the height difference, so I can understand where your frustration comes from my friend. There are a few things I can recommend to help you out with this. Firstly, any position where your girl is more at your level will work best for you. By this I mean positions like standing positions where you can hold her so she’s at your waist level, or positions where you’re standing and she’s sitting on a counter top of some sort. These positions are great because you don’t have to contort yourself awkwardly, you just have to stand there. And she’ll be about at the right height by putting her up on something such as a counter top. You can do simple positions like the leg-lock where your girl wraps her legs around your waist as you enter her, or you can try a more difficult one like the “V is for Vixen” (which was last Friday’s position, so check it out!). Another thing I think could work out quite nicely for you is investing in a sex swing. Sex swings are such great creations because you can hang them or mount them from a stand and they allow you to do crazy fun things that you couldn’t normally do. Height and Weight are not an issue for a sex swing and most brands are very accommodating in these areas. Plus you can adjust the swing’s height, so you can virtually put your girlfriend at any height you desire for perfect penetration. Prices vary, so you’ll need to do your research to find the one that would fit you and your girl’s needs. Hope this helped, good luck! (:

Hey, this isnt really a question about sex, I just couldn’t find another way to get in touch with you. But, My name is Nikki, just started a blog dedicated to helping guys get girls, not a normal dating site, but filled with the knowledge ive accumulated after studying and practicing game for the past 3 years, I havent had many followers or questions or anything at all on it so far (if by not many i mean none at all) came across your blog in the sexuality directory, was hoping you could take a look and help me get some followers.

And no im not a popularity whore or anything, I just want to help guys out there who are like the old me before i learned all this stuff

Well everyone, I took a look at this blog and I like the stuff that I’ve read. It’s entertaining and contains very useful information for you male followers out there. So the best thing I can do is recommend it to all of you guys. So everyone, take a look at howtoplay.tumblr.com and if you like what you see, start following! There you go Nikki, hopefully I can get some followers for you. (:

This isn’t a question or a comment really, and you don’t have to post it I just wanted to say it. I’m super glad that you use the Badger Herald for your Hump Day posts, the girls who write it do know their stuff (& even though sometimes it’s rather boring it can be pretty entertaining if you catch the right subject). I attend there & read the Herald weekly on Wednesdays just to catch their advice. (: So wonderful find TaylorAnn.

Well my dear, I’ll tell you a little secret; it wasn’t really a wonderful “find” for me as I attend there too. haha. So I’ve known about the Badger Herald for quite a while now and I agree that it has some great stuff most of the time, so I’m glad you enjoy it! Unfortunately…they don’t write “Hump Day” over the summer, so I will have to find something else to fill the Wednesday slot on my blog. But thanks for the comment! Go Badgers! (:

Well I have a very busy day ahead of me tomorrow getting ready for a “Tropical Wop” themed bash that I am hosting, so the second half of the Moaning Monday questions will have to wait until tomorrow sometime. Be sure to check back tomorrow for Part 2! Thanks guys. <33