A big thank you again to all my loyal and wonderful followers. You guys mean so much to me and it meant even more to me that you were checking for updates, sending me messages of encouragement, and patiently awaiting my return. Well I can finally say with confidence that I’M BACK. (: So to kick off the 13 days of Questions, I’m going to start with today’s: FANTASIES, OTHER FORMS OF “DOING THE DIRTY”, HOW TO SPICE THINGS UP AND NON-HETEROSEXUAL SEX. If your question fit into this category, you should find your answer here. Enjoy! (:
Hi there,
my boyfriend wants me to give him a lapdance/strip tease. I know tht you just had a whole week on it, but it didn’t help me tht much. So, can you give me tips on how to give a great lapdance?
Thank you!
Sooo glad you asked this question my dear, I can absolutely give you some tips because well, I’ve actually taken a lap dance class and will continue to improve my skills. (: The first thing I can tell you about pleasing your man with your fabulous lap dance skills is that the actual moves don’t matter all that much! Haha. Your man is going to be thrilled just by the fact that your shaking your lady parts in his face. Which brings me to my first helpful words of wisdom: don’t be afraid of the “jiggle” and shake what your mama gave you! (; A lot of women think that in order to be sexy, you have to be “tight” all around-meaning no jiggle to your step-this is completely FALSE. Men LOVE the jiggle! Anything you can shake in their face is going to pay off big time. So do the obvious: shimmy your goods in your boyfriend’s face, shake your ass, do full body circles with your hips, and shake your whole body by standing on your toes and moving your legs in and out (like if you were going to put out a cigarette with your feet!). The next bit of advice I can give you is the more exposed the better. (; I mean, you can really go all out here-try dancing for your man in some sexy lingerie and some high heels-I wouldn’t recommend going bare-ass naked though, because you want your man to want to find out what’s under your clothes, am I right?! Now, giving a good lap dance is really all about working your body and making it look as sexy as possible-you don’t need to bust out fancy dance moves! Think sexy dancing and grinding and you’ve pretty much got it. I will give you two tips for some floor action that you can do to get your man’s eyes allllll on you. (; #1 is called the booty-bounce; simply get down on all fours, arch your back really well and bounce your booty up and down like you’re literally humping the floor. I promise you, all eyes will be on your assets. #2 is the sex-kitten crawl; move away from your guy on the floor, get down on all fours, really arch your back and slink in a crawl back to your man with your best seductive-temptress expression. (: The key to all of this of course is EYE CONTACT. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, as long as you look like a sex-vixen, your man is going to think you are. Follow these few tips and I can promise you that the payoff is going to be incredible, for you and your guy. (; Hope this answered your question! Have fun!
hi. (: i love your blog, you give me advice or help with sex talk even before i know i need it! (x hhahah. and thank you for that. (: but, whenever i have the chance to read your blog no one asks you about lesbian/gay sex. :/ and i happen to be pansexual and recently just asked out my first girlfriend. so i was wondering if you had any tips/sex positions for girl on girl sex? it would help so much, thank you again. (:
First of all let me say that I’m really glad you decided to ask a question, because you are absolutely right, not many questions are asked about gay/lesbian sex and it’s just as important of a topic as any other. (: Now here’s the beauty of it; a lot of other tips and advice I have offered for sex positions work just fine for girl-on-girl action as well. As she is your first girlfriend, I don’t know how comfortable you feel with her yet and what you are willing to try, so let’s go over mutual masturbation, oral sex and full-on strap-on sex. Firstly about mutual masturbation; if you masturbate yourself you will have a slight understanding of what to do for your girlfriend (i.e. what motions to move your fingers in, whether she likes clitoral stimulation or vaginal stimulation, etc.) Some tips I can give you are to use your first three fingers and place the middle one over the glans of the clitoris and your pointer and ring finger on her labia and move them in a circular motion either clockwise or counterclockwise. This is a great way to do mutual masturbation because she will get the sensations of both the clitoris and labia. Don’t forget that while one of your hands is being used on her lady parts, the other hand can be free to roam; whether fondling her breasts, touching her face, etc. And she can also be fingering you at the same time. Hence “mutual” masturbation. Now for oral, the most important thing is to remember that your tongue and lips have all the magic in them. (: Use them to your advantage. Try sucking on her labia or clit (for the pressure) and using your tongue at the same time to swirl circles around her clitoris. If you think you are ready to engage in full-on sex (of course, it very much depends on what your definition of sex is! It can be whatever you want it to be!) you might want to consider buying a strap-on, which includes a dildo and a harness. You can get these at your local sex shop, but you’ll need to do some research to find the right harness fit and what exactly you’re looking for in a dildo (size, texture, anatomical accuracy, etc.). You can use this strap-on to engage in any position that a heterosexual couple would. A lot of women find missionary to be very fulfilling for a first time, because it allows for intimacy because your hands are free and you can kiss your partner. Nervous about finding the right hole? Don’t worry, it’s extremely common, and all you have to do is use your fingers first to locate the vaginal or anal opening and you should be good to go. One important thing to remember is that you’re going to want to be thrusting into your girlfriend to get the desired effect; grinding will not work. Basically; you can twist many of the advice I have given heterosexual couples to work for you and your girlfriend, depending on how comfortable you are with her and what you’re going to be doing. Hope this was helpful. <3
Hello! It’s Yahara again. I asked you about a month ago about being nervous because I was a virgin and my bf wasn’t. Well, I took your advice. And when we had sex, it was hands down amazing for a first time. So now me and my boyfriend, uhm, crave each other A LOT. ;) haha! Well, we were on the phone the other night, and he mentioned something about phone sex. For some reason, I would just think that’d be REALLY strange. I don’t know why! Haha. He really wants to! Any advice on what to say or do? thankyouuu! :)
Hi Yahara! (: I’m so glad that you found my advice useful and that your first time was a good experience for you. That’s simply wonderful! The idea of phone sex probably seems strange to you because it involves stimulating yourself through sounds and images produced from your boyfriend who isn’t present with you. I will tell you flat out that you have to be comfortable with masturbating for phone sex to be enjoyable. If you do not masturbate frequently or aren’t comfortable with it, I don’t suggest engaging in phone sex with your boyfriend until you are. If you are comfortable with masturbating, then phone sex can be an extremely fun, erotic experience for you. For example, when you masturbate, you obviously have dirty thoughts or images flashing through your mind, right? Well what’s great about phone sex is you can add to those mental images by hearing your partner on the phone with you making sounds or telling you what you are making them do to themselves. It’s very erotic and can feel very empowering to know that you have the ability to get your partner off without physically being with them! (: As far as things to say; it’s all about creativity and playing off of what your partner says. Imagine your partner being with you and what you would WANT them to do to you, then just vocalize it but spin it around so that the action is focused on yourself. For example, instead of you saying to your boyfriend when he’s with you, “I love when you rub me like that,” you would instead say to him over the phone, “I’m rubbing my clit and it feels so good.” This allows for both partners to visualize the action taking place and stimulate themselves to the image, leading to orgasm. Yay! (: Another quick tip I can give you is to focus on your 5 senses and tell your boyfriend what you’re tasting, touching, smelling, hearing, and seeing. This will add to the imagery and heighten his arousal. Hope you find this useful and have fun! Trying new things with your partner can be scary at first, but I think if you give it a try, you’ll be surprised by how naturally it will come to you and how erotic it will make you feel. (:
Hi Taylorann! I have to say I LOVE your blog!! Helped me SO much :) Okay, my boyfriend of two years wants to play out a rape fantasy. I mean, he told me the other night over the phone, and wants to do the whole sha bang. Go in the woods, find me, and do the dirty. I am not thrilled with the idea but it does sound interesting. Is this normal and what should I do? Thanks so much love! - Camilla P. <3
Hi Camilla! Thanks for the praise, I’m glad you find the blog useful. (: Let me first start out by saying that your boyfriend asking you to engage in a rape fantasy with him is completely normal. In fact, I highly praise him for bringing the suggestion up with you, that just means that he’s looking for new and improved ways to make your sex life that much more exciting and steamy! (; I personally think you should go for it, because I think it would be a very erotic experience for you and that you’d really enjoy it. Fantasies are a great way for couples to spice things up in their sex lives, and rape fantasies are actually the #1 reported fantasy by FEMALES! (if you remember from my post on fantasies a few weeks ago) The reason for this is that women love the idea of a sexy stranger in the night forcing them (sexily of course!) to do whatever they wish. It’s very hott when you think about it and I’m sure that’s how your boyfriend feels about it too. Obviously he has this thing completely planned out and has thought about it for a while; so my OPINION (not that you have to do it of course) is to go with it. I think it could be something you will really enjoy and will add new steaminess to your sex life, which is always a good thing. (: Plus, he’s your boyfriend of two years, you guys must be extremely comfortable with eachother by now so it shouldn’t be awkward at all, focus on how erotic and naughty it makes you feel! This is just my personal opinion, hope it helps, and I say go for it girl! (:
Hi, I’m 16 and this guy I like is 18 we’ve been getting together on and off for a few months now but were still not together. We’ve been friends since I was 11 and I trust and care for him lots. Since winter we’ve hooked up numerous times and a few times this lead to wild orals. I’m still a virgin but I’d happily lose it to him is he asked me to date him. So were was I, so recently due to exams we haven’t seen much of each other so he just made a skype so we could have cam sex. I’ve had cam before on chatroulette and guys have cum over it but what if he doesn’t find me sexy when I’m not there with him. Plus he wants to phone sex me, which I’ve never done and I’m nervous I’ll sound like a twat, what do I say… Plus i have no toys to use on cam so how do i really get him going…. from young leggy blonde.
Hi young leggy blonde. Since I just answered a question about phone sex with a lot of detail, I think I’m just going to tell you to read the above question to find out some super sexy tips on what to say on the phone with your guy. Now, onto the subject of cam sex! Cam sex is another one of those things that if you’re not comfortable with masturbating (and especially if someone else is watching), it’s probably not going to be enjoyable for you. The point of cam sex is pretty much to get your partner off without physically being with them, and then being able to see the proof of your partner getting off. Hah. As far as you not being sexy enough for him, think of it this way: your guy obviously finds looking at your body sexy when you’re together, why wouldn’t he find it sexy looking at a computer screen filled with it?! I personally don’t think you have any need to worry about that my dear. (: If you want to sex things up, try walking towards the web cam in sexy lingerie from the other side of the room and slowly take off articles of clothing along the way, until you are completely naked and right up close and personal with your man’s cam. And lastly, you honestly don’t need toys to get your guy’s blood boiling! Just watching you stimulate yourself will be PLENTY enough for him, trust me! There is nothing hotter than watching your partner get themselves off in front of you because it shows their confidence and that you obviously turn them on enough to orgasm. So my advice is just to think about the way in which you yourself masturbate, and then do it on camera. Pretend like the camera is not even there if you get nervous. This should be a very pleasurable experience for you, if you are comfortable enough with yourself to do it. Hope this helped! Good luck. <3
Hello! I am absolutely addicted to your blog, it answers questions I didn’t even think I wondered about! You’re fantastic!
Anywho, my question is kind of a poll for you and the readers of your blog out there in the Tumblr world:
I’m a 16-year-old gal and I’m in a very perfect relationship right now that has a beautiful balance of emotional and physical attraction. We’re positive we trust each other enough to be each others first times and since it’s summer and we both still live with parents, I was wondering how you and the readers, got around those things as kids and were able to fool around (in places other than a car!) without getting caught. Just for ideas :) Thank youu!
Awe thank you I really appreciate all the praise! But I’m only as fantastic as my followers who ask me questions to answer, such as yourself. (: The best part about this question that you asked me is that the sky is the limit! There are so many possibilities on places to “do the dirty” and not get caught, especially since it’s summer, yes! My first suggestion would of course be to stay in the comfort of one of your own homes and just be extremely stealthy about it. (; A basement works great, if you are allowed to go down there with your boyfriend and it works especially great if you have the sounds that your house makes down pat! That way, you will know when an unwanted visitor approaches. Also, let’s not forget the power of blankets, shall we?! By using a blanket when “curled up” on the couch together, your folks will just think you’re laying together, when really you’re engaging in a terrific spooning position! Hah. Now if you want to play it safe though and want to get out of the house, there are so many possibilities outside! Go for a “walk” one day and get it on in the closest woods (just watch out for poison ivy), you can also go to a deserted beach late at night and get it on in the sand (provided that you have something to prevent the sand from going in unwanted places of course!), you can also go to a park late at night and try a girl-on-top position on the swing set or have fun in the little kid tunnels or on a slide. (; Also, if perhaps you or your boyfriend have a treehouse in the backyard, that can be a fantastic place to get it on. You’re sky-high and no one will be able to sneak up on you without you knowing. There’s also just having sex in the backyard, just make sure you do it at night so the neighbors can’t see and it will have the romantic flair underneath the stars and moonlight. Pools and hot tubs are also a great place to fool around (and I’ll be posting summer sex-positions soon, so be sure to check for that to find some great water ones!) just remember to not make it obvious-so I suggest a girl-on-top or doggie-style position. The list goes on and on honestly, be creative and you should have no problem coming up with places to do the deed. Have a greatttt summer. (;
Alright well my boyfriend and I have been together for six months now and we are really happy with eachother, we have sex quite often. I was just wondering if you had any suggestions on new things we can try. We tried to do anal but it hurt like a BITCH, so yeahh. But for some reason I really enjoy it when he touches my butt hole with his finger. And also is it possible that anal sex caused me to have diarhea? Sorry if thats kinda an icky topic.
Let me first start by asking if the reason anal hurt so bad could have been because you weren’t using enough lube? The anus does NOT have the same natural lubrication as the vagina, so in order to have anal sex pleasurably and safely, you really need to use lube. You mentioned you enjoy when your boyfriend plays with your anus, this is actually a great way to learn to enjoy anal sex! Have your boyfriend put lube on his fingers and play with your anal opening, eventually he should be able to get you loosened up enough to put his entire finger in for some anal play, which should make anal sex a lot more comfortable for you. This is because the anus is a sphincter that needs to be relaxed before penetration of any kind can be comfortable. Some other new things you can try, if of course you’re comfortable doing so are things like having a three-some, or some BDSM play-this can be anything from light bondage with scarves, ties, ropes or handcuffs to full-on BDSM clubbing where you actually go to a place to meet other couples who engage in BDSM and where you can all enjoy it together. Light bondage can be a very hot thing for couples and it’s really easy to try. It gives couples the feeling that they are helpless against their partner ravaging them with pleasure. (; I would maybe try that with some scarves or a cheap pair of plastic handcuffs. You can also try telling each other your sexual fantasies and them acting them out one night, that can be a very rewarding experience for your sex life in general. It allows you to be more open and creative. And as for your diarrhea question; yes it is possible that it was caused by anal sex simply because you could have obtained a bacterial infection, this isn’t something that happens often though and shouldn’t deter you from engaging in anal sex! The diarrhea was most likely caused by something else, my advice is just to make sure you always use a condom when having anal sex to reduce your chance for a bacterial infection. Hope this helped! <3
Hey Taylorann! I think what you are doing is awesome. I have been so educated by your blog, so thanks a bunch! My question is involving long distance relationships. I have been away for a few weeks now, and my boyfriend and I have been doing some naughty things over webcam. It took me a while to get comfortable being naked and masturbating on camera, but now it’s pretty fun. I just find him doing most of the talking because I am still a little shy about being vocal during intimate situations. Do you have any advice on how I can spice up webcam sex? Especially regarding being vocal? Thanks a million!
Hey. (: Thank you so much for the praise, I’m glad I could help you gain some sexual knowledge, that’s what I’m here for! I’m very proud of you for taking that step and trying out cam sex with your boyfriend, it can never hurt to try new things and I’m so pleased that you enjoy it as much as I’m sure your boyfriend does. Also, cam sex is a great way to remain intimate with your boyfriend over long-distances, so that’s really great that you are able and comfortable enough to do that. (: Being vocal in any sexual situation is really all about what you’re comfortable with doing. It can be as simple or complex as you would like it to be. It can be as simple as moaning when you finally reach orgasm, or as complex as telling your man exactly what you’re doing to yourself and all the sensations that you are feeling! Being vocal is a very important part of both cam and phone sex because you want to make sure your partner knows how good they are making you feel, without actually being with you! Your partner wants to know that you still want them, even if they aren’t physically there. So try vocalizing that want. Tell your boyfriend that you want him inside of you, tell him that you want his tongue all over you. Make him feel what you’re feeling, make him feel the lust! It can only help heighten both of your arousal. (; Don’t forget the moans, growls, purrs, and profanities associated with orgasm, and use them to your advantage! If you feel the need to shout, “Oh my jesus christ!” at the top of your lungs, do it! Your guy will be so turned on by the fact that it seems to him like you can’t contain your ecstasy, and that’s super hott! (; Also, as I’ve mentioned before, don’t ignore your 5 senses, they can do wonders for the imagination. Hope this helps, and don’t be afraid to let it all out girl, it can only add to your sexual experience! (:
