5. Sex 101: It’s My First Time…

There are a lot of different things that people always ask me when they are thinking of having sex for the first time, and that’s understandable because there are a lot of things to consider with something as important and awesome as that. I’m going to do my best to talk about everything I think is important to consider before having sex for the first time. IF there is something I have missed, or I haven’t answered your specific question about “first time jitters”, as always don’t hesitate to ask me. (: Now, the first thing is to talk about “being ready”, how do you know? Well, to be honest, that’s a very subjective question because everyone is different. Some people think they’re ready to lose their virginity when they’re 13, some when they’re 30. And either way, that’s perfectly fine and normal! The right timing for one person may be completely different for another person. The best answer I can give you is that you will know, when you know. Everyone has their boundaries and the right to decide when the best time to have sex for the first time is. I think a person is ready when they are prepared to handle the physical, mental and emotional consequences associated with sex. Also, how people view their first time often varies greatly from person to person. Some people want to wait for the “one”, some people want to wait till marriage, some people want to be in love, some people want it to be with a friend, some people do it to “get it over with”, some people think it’s a very big deal, some people don’t think it’s a big deal at all. It’s perfectly normal to lose your virginity in any of these ways! Next to cover is COMMUNICATION. Communication is perhaps the most important thing about having sex for the first time. You need to talk to your partner about your boundaries, what you’re comfortable doing, where you want to do it, how you want to do it and when. It’s perfectly natural for anyone to be nervous their first time, sex can be an intimidating thing. Having good communication with your partner can be the key to having a great first time, and relieve some of the anxiety you’re feeling. Also, don’t forget to ask for CONSENT! It is NEVER okay to force or pressure someone into doing something they don’t want to do. Consent is sexy, ALWAYS ask first.

Now…let’s get into some biology. How exactly do you do “it”? Sex is of course a very fluid term and everyone has their different definitions of what it means to have “sex”. For a majority, sex usually means penile-vaginal intercourse. But for others it may mean mutual masturbation, oral sex or anal sex or any other sexual act. For this particular question, I’m going to use penile-vaginal intercourse as the definition of “sex”. Penile-vaginal intercourse occurs when the penis is inserted into the vagina. A surprisingly high number of people have reported “not being able to find the hole,” so I’m going to once again bust out the diagram of female reproductive anatomy. It’s very important to note that penile insertion into the urethra (the hole your urine comes out of) for females can be EXTREMLY PAINFUL and should not be confused with the vaginal opening! Please if you are in doubt, look at the diagram. Also, ladies to prevent penetration of the “wrong hole”, a technique that works great is guiding the penis to your vagina, yourself! It will reduce your partner’s anxiety about them having to figure it out on their own and also will ensure accuracy. (:

Also, it’s very common that I get the “is it going to hurt?” question from girls. There is a definite possibility of penile-vaginal intercourse hurting the first time for girls if the hymen is still intact. The hymen is a thin tissue membrane that covers the vaginal opening, when it breaks it may be painful and may cause bleeding. THIS IS NORMAL. The bleeding can be as little as a few specks or as much as a heavy period and can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few days. It’s also possible that it won’t hurt at all for some girls and that there may not be any bleeding at all. Everyone is different when it comes to this. Some girls ask me why they don’t have any pain if they were a virgin before they had sex. It is also important to note that the hymen can be broken by many other things besides a penis. Common incidents include gymnastics, horseback riding, bike accidents and even gynecological exams. If you don’t experience any pain your first time, it could very well be that your hymen was previously broken by something else.

Contraception is also an important part of deciding to have sex for the first time to prevent STI contraction and prevent unintended pregnancy. My philosophy on having sex for the first time is this: if you cannot be responsible enough to protect yourself from STIs and unintended pregnancy, then you are not responsible enough to be having sex. Plain and simple. There are many forms of contraception available, and I provided a list of them under the “Birth Control 101” section. I suggest taking a look at that, and also doing your own research to decide which method is going to work best for you.

Lastly, I receive many questions on good positions to try for first-timers. Personally, I think the easiest positions for first-timers are probably missionary, a spooning or girl-on-top position. They don’t require a lot of agility and are pretty straight-forward. I will provide illustrations for you guys on these three positions. These aren’t the only possible positions for first-timers of course, just my personal opinion. If you are unsatisfied with these after some time, feel free to ask about other more-advanced positions.

Missionary Position

Spooning Position

Girl-On-Top Position AKA “Cowgirl” Position

So what’s the formula for a good first-time experience?

Knowing you’re ready + Communicating with your partner + ASKING FOR CONSENT + Knowing your biology + Contraception + Experimenting with positions

(:

6. Food During Sex

Incorporating food into your sex life can be a great new erotic experience and is perfectly okay! In fact, I highly recommend it. In all reality, the key to ANYONE’S heart…is through their stomach. (: The great thing about using food during sex is that there are so many ways to experiment with it and so many different foods you can use! Pretty much you can use any food that you desire to feed your sexual appetite. Common foods include fruits, chocolate, whip cream, caramel sauce, ice cream, popsicles, even Poprocks! Poprocks are an amazing little item, let me tell you. Best sex toy buy for about $.50! You can put them in your mouth during a makeout session to spice things up or try putting them in your mouth during fellatio for an exotic rush. (; Make sure you avoid putting those little babies anywhere near lady-parts though because that can become quite a sticky mess that could lead to a yeast infection. Yikes! Other things to avoid are chili peppers and basically anything that is hot or spicy. Also a quick note, be sure not to use foods that contain oil if you are going to be using a condom with your sexy-food-adventure. Oils can break down latex, which will lower the condom’s effectiveness. One other important safety note: make sure you only use the foods EXTERNALLY, NOT INTERNALLY. If foods get inside the vagina or urethral opening of the penis, they could result in irritation or infection. No good. Other than that, feel free to explore and let your taste buds and your sex drive run wild! (:

7. Oral Sex 101: The Art of Eating and Blowing

I almost always get questions about tips and tricks for either fellatio or cunnilingus and there’s only so much I can say before I start to repeat myself, so I thought this was an excellent choice for an FAQ. (:

Let’s start with penis lovin’ first, shall we? The first thing you need to know about giving fellatio (blowjobs) is to know the anatomy of the penis. This may seem like a simple thing, it’s just a penis, right? Well, there are actually several spots on the penis that are more sensitive than others. The areas you are going to want to be focusing on are the glans of the penis, urethra, testes and frenulum. Despite popular belief, the shaft of the penis actually has very little to do with giving a good blowjob! The glans (head) of the penis is 100x more sensitive than the shaft and you should focus most of what’s going on with your tongue and mouth around that area. The urethra (hole that ejaculate and urine comes out of) is also extremely sensitive and you might want to try flicking your tongue over it to put him over the edge. (; The most important part of penis anatomy you should be familiar with is the frenulum, a ridge running along the underside of the penis starting under the glans. This is perhaps the most sensitive area on the entire male body. It has thousands of nerve endings and when stroked with a tongue or kissed or sucked by the lips shoots an extremely erotically pleasurable signal to the brain. This is the GOLD-MINE of giving good head! Never neglect this area! In case you guys need a little penis anatomy refresher, I am going to provide you with diagrams of where these areas are located:

Now before we move on to some tips and tricks, I want to make a note about the infamous “deep-throating”. Many, many people think that this is the ultimate blowjob trick, that if you can master this technique, your man will think you are a “blowjob goddess or god”. This is definitely not true. Infact deep-throating actually does very little for intense pleasure. Since the glans is more sensitive than the shaft of the penis, the pleasure that men feel from deep-throating actually comes from the glans hitting the back of the throat, not your mouth around the shaft. For those of you who have an extreme gag reflex, never fear! You can achieve “blowjob goddess or god” status in many other ways than by deep-throating. And here are some of those ways:

The most important part of giving a good blowjob comes from confidence. The more confident you are, and the more you show your man that you want to do this favor for him and want him to get pleasure from it, the more he will. No man wants to see their partner act very uncomfortably at the thought of oral sex, when he is supposed to be receiving great pleasure from it! The first tip I can give you is to look him in the eyes as you’re going down on him. Guys love seeing the look of confidence as their partner takes their penis into their mouth. CONFIDENCE IS SEXY. Always make sure your guy knows you really want to be doing this for him. The next tip I can provide is to use your tongue for most of the action. Your lips can be a great tool for sucking and adding a lot of pressure, but your tongue is what you should use for sensual stimulation. Use your tongue to thoroughly lube up your man’s penis by licking the entire shaft up, down and around. Lubrication by your saliva will make the experience much more pleasurable for him. You can also use your tongue to run along the frenulum, as I mentioned before, to really blow his mind. Also, since the glans is more sensitive than the shaft, try putting the glans in your mouth and closing around it with your lips, but use your tongue to circle it around and around. You can also use your tongue to transfer the glans from one side of your mouth to the other, creating a lot of different sensations for him as his glans hits the different parts of your mouth. The tongue can also be used to gently flick in and out of the urethral opening. The tongue is also a great tool to alter the temperature of your man’s erotic experience. (: Which leads me into my next tip, using temperature to your advantage! Alternating between hot and cold temperatures while giving your guy head can really put him over the edge. Try licking the shaft with your tongue and then blowing the warm air from your mouth onto the spot. You can also take a sip of hot tea or hot chocolate (pretty much any hot beverage will do) and then swirl your tongue around the glans for a few seconds, then take a bite of ice cream or suck on an ice cube and then do the same thing by swirling your tongue around the glans. Any hot and cold combination you can come up with will do the trick, be creative! The last tip I am a firm believer in is using your hands in combination with your mouth! This is a great way to get the friction provided by handjobs with the warm, wet seduction provided with your mouth. Use your hands to work the shaft while your mouth works the glans, you can work your hands in and up and down motion as you would with a handjob, or you can grip the shaft and work your hands up and down in a swivel, twisting motion. Also, the best way to use your hands is to use them to play with your man’s testes. NEVER IGNORE THE LOVE SACS. Gently squeeze or massage them by rolling them between your fingers or palm. You can also suck, lick, kiss or anything else to them as long as you are gentle! One thing to AVOID…NEVER EVER USE YOUR TEETH! Teeth are just not a friend to the penis. They can tear, scratch or rip the tissue or foreskin of the penis or testes. It’s just a good idea to not use them at all, they usually cause more harm than pleasure.

As far as positions go, there are so many different variations you can do to the typical “laying down blowjob”. You can try having your guy stand up while you kneel before him, you can have him sit and you kneel between his legs, you can sit side-by-side on a couch or bed while you bend forward over him, you can do it in the 69 position only where you would be on your back and he would face you also on his back. You can try laying on your back with your head propped up on a pillow while he kneels above you and thrusts into your mouth. You can also try having him lie on his back with his legs straight up in the air and give him head from between his legs or you can have him stand on the floor at the edge of the bed and you lie on your back hanging off the edge of the bed and giving him head from underneath him. There are so many other great positions! The best idea is just to experiment and find out what your guy likes the best and what is most comfortable for you.

Let’s move on to some lady lovin’! Just like with giving fellatio, the biggest thing about giving a girl cunnilingus (eating her out) is to know the anatomy of the vulva. The entire vulva is filled with thousands of nerve endings and is highly sensitive, but the most sensitive part of the vulva is the clitoris. The clitoris is the “magic orgasm button” for most women, women who especially have difficulty achieving orgasm vaginally look to the clitoris to help them reach the Big-O. Because the clitoris is SO sensitive, some women need indirect stimulation of it because direct stimulation may be too overwhelming. Every woman is different and before pressing the “magic button”, I suggest having a conversation with the lady-receiver to find out what her preferences are. Some tips for stimulating the clitoris in a highly erotic way? Try flicking your tongue over it rapidly or using your tongue to draw circles around it. The power of warm breath is one to never be ignored either-try blowing directly on the clitoris and then using your tongue for one of the techniques I previously mentioned. Many women also report the “alphabet trick” to be highly valuable, which is where the giver uses their tongue to write the alphabet over the receiver’s clitoris. Not only is this a lot of hot tongue action, but also because you’ll be making the different letters, you won’t be focusing your attention on one spot for too long, adding to the variety of sensations the receiver will have. (; Let’s talk about some other sensitive areas of the vulva. One that a lot of people overlook is the erotic potential of the labia, both the inner and outer lips. The labia are not quite as sensitive as the clitoris, but with slightly more direct stimulation, they can produce a lot of pleasure. For things to try with the labia you can pull, nibble, lick, kiss or suck on them for added sensation. Actually one of the most powerful things to incorporate into cunnilingus is the power of PRESSURE! By sucking on the labia or by centering your mouth so that it covers the clitoris and vaginal opening and sucking, this can produce a lot of wonderfully erotic pressure, much the same as giving a man a blowjob. Sucking is good! You want to blow your lady’s mind? Put the pressure on to get her close to the edge! The other area of the vulva that deserves erotic attention is the vaginal opening itself. This opening, although definitely not as sensitive as the clitoris, can often be a source of a lot of pleasure if stimulated in the correct way. One way to stimulate this area is with the tongue-use your tongue like you would a finger and insert it in and out of the vaginal opening at whatever speed is comfortable for you. You can also tease the entrance to the vaginal opening with your tongue by circling around it or flicking your tongue rapidly in and out. My next tip is probably the most crucial, so LISTEN UP! A great way to help your lady get to her Big-O is to use a combination of your hands and mouth. Just as using the hands and mouth combo on guys can be the gold-mine of giving blowjobs, using your hands and mouth on ladies can be the gold-mine of getting take out. (; Try inserting however many fingers you and your partner are comfortable with into the vaginal opening and then using your mouth to suck or tease the labia and clitoris. You can also use such objects as dildos and vibrators to create the same effect as your hands. Get your partner talking about preferences and boundaries and just get creative!

I feel it is now an appropriate time to address lady-concerns about getting eaten out and personal hygiene. Girls often think that they have a “funny smell” down there and are concerned that no one will want to go down on them because of it. The simple truth is, in general, most girls are completely overreacting. Vaginal discharge can have a variety of smells, mostly somewhat musky smelling or it can not smell at all. Either way, it’s completely normal! And most girls don’t realize this…but you’re actually probably the only one who notices the smell of your vaginal discharge. Most women have a heightened sense of smell for their own bodily secretions, but that doesn’t mean that your partner smells what you think you smell. Women are far too critical of the way their lady-bits smell and look. Stop over-analyzing! In reality, the natural smell of vaginal discharge for women or pre-cum for men, is actually a pheromone (or aphrodisiac) for most partners and increases arousal! If you think your vagina smells really FOUL (not just musky or like urine) then you might consider seeing your gynecologist if this is a concern for you because it could be caused by an infection or STI. When in doubt, it’s best to get it checked out, but in general just daily bathing and soaping up while in the shower is more than enough to keep your lady-bits smellin’ fresh! (: As far as being concerned with the question of to shave or not to shave, that is as I stated before, entirely up to you. My only advice, is to maybe not have an untamed jungle down there. It might be unpleasant for your partner to get a mouthful of hair every time they go down on you. There is nothing wrong with having some hair ladies, let me be clear! I would just suggest keeping the bushes trimmed once and a while.

As for specific positions to perform cunnilingus in? Just as with fellatio, there are so many it’s hard to name them all! Virtually any position sitting, standing or laying down will work just fine, the best advice I can give it to once again experiment with different positions until you find one that both you and your partner like and are comfortable with. As for some examples, here are some personal suggestions: you can try a kind of reverse 69 position where you lie on your back above your partner facing them as they perform cunnilingus on you, but you don’t return the favor. You can also have your partner on their knees while you stand over them either the typical “facing-them position” or try it so that they go down on you from behind to enhance the erotic surprise. You can also sit virtually right above your partner’s face in whatever direction you choose so that they can go down on you from under you. You may also want to try variations of the usual laying down position where you either lift both your legs high above your head or close your legs moderately tightly around your partner’s head as they eat you out for a more snug feeling. There are endless possibilities here ladies and gents for both fellatio and cunnilingus positions, explore them all and create your own!

In a short moment I will post part 2 of the FAQ page that I know all of you have been waiting for. The FAQ is not nearly complete though, I still have a lot more questions that I’m planning on adding, but I didn’t want to keep you guys waiting any longer. So while I work on finishing up the other parts of the FAQ page, you guys can enjoy part 2 for a while.

I have no idea when the rest of the parts will be completed, but I will get it done as soon as I have the time. I have been extremely busy lately, so it’s going to have to happen in baby-steps ladies and gents. And I apologize for that.

Anyways, enjoy part 2 of the FAQ page (questions 5-7/13)! (:

Keep it sexyyyyy.

<33 Taylorann

Hey guys,

Sorry for not getting the highly anticipated FAQ page completed this weekend like I said I would. A million apologies. But this weekend did not quite go according to plan and I ended up being too sick and too busy to get it completed. ):

Just so you all don’t think I’m full of shit, here’s how my weekend went:

-came down with a nasty cold and had to miss class Thursday and Friday

-Spent many hours sleeping, being lazy and overdosing on oranges and orange juice to try and feel better.

-found out I’m going to be a GACC SafeSite and had to check to see if that was all going according to plan! Very exciting. I will post about this later because it’s relevant to my work! (:

-got my second semester work schedule and meeting times for all 6 of my sexual health organizations on campus and spent hours emailing random coordinators for that.

-spent all day today doing makeup work from missing class last week.

-had to officially apply for my major today…yikes.

So yeahhh. Hah. Sorry guys, but I will do my best to get Part 2 of the FAQ Page up sometime this week and then…starting NEXT Monday (January 31st) I will finally go back to my regular everyday posting starting with “Moaning Monday” questions! Woot! :D

Hang tight loves. Sexy things are a’ comin’!!

<333

1. My Inner/Outer Labia don’t look normal to me? Is there something wrong with my lady-parts down there?

No. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you whether you think your inner or outer labia look different from normal. This is because there really isn’t a “normal” definition of what labia are supposed to look like. There is often variety in the shape and size of inner and outer labia because of the genetic differences between all of us. In general, inner labia (labia minora) can be anywhere from 3/4^th inch-2 inches long and can very easily stick out above the outer labia (labia majora), there is absolutely nothing abnormal about it. The labia also may change in color, shape and size throughout your lifetime because of puberty, age and hormonal differences. The labia may also change in color, shape or size during sexual arousal, as blood flow increases to them. I can promise you ladies that your bits are perfectly normal if they are visible in all postures, some postures or aren’t visible at all. All women are unique and that makes them beautiful! So it’s time for all you lady followers to realize you are perfectly normal and your lady-parts are beautiful just the way they are. It’s time to stop hatin’ on your labia and yourself and think of them as a unique piece of artwork that no one else in the world has! Labioplasty (the cosmetic mutilation of the labia) should NEVER be considered unless directed by a health-care professional for serious problems such as your labia are blocking the flow of menstrual blood and urine from being excreted. I also heard a horror-story of a girl who tried to trim her labia herself with a scissors! Ladies pleaseeeee don’t EVER do that. The medical consequences of such an act could be very severe. The vulva is very vascular, if you were to do that it’s very possible that you could bleed out and be dead before you even knew what hit you. If you would like more information on labia variety, there is a fabulous article that I came across on Scartleteen.com, here is the link: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/giveem_some_lip_labia_that_clearly_aint_minor

Also to give you an idea of just how much variety the labia can have, I am also posting the link to Betty Dodson’s beautiful illustrations for your viewing enjoyment. Please take a look ladies before you start questioning whether your labia are normal or not! http://www.scarleteen.com/resource/advice/betty_dodsons_vulva_illustrations

Vagina’s 101: Is my Vagina too tight or too loose? What If I’m too wet or not wet enough for sex?

Alright ladies, it’s time to put to rest the myth of the “loose-girl”. The first and foremost thing every girl should know about her vagina is that it is a MUSCLE and muscles do not change size permanently. The vagina is designed to stretch to fit any shape or size of the penis, it is also designed to obviously be able to push a baby out through it. Your vagina CANNOT become loose by having sex! It will stretch during sexual arousal to accommodate the “penis” (penis in parentheses because that is not the only type of penetration obviously, but it is the most common), and then will return to it’s normal shape and size after intercourse. The ONLY way the vagina may actually become “looser” is after the woman has had a child. So ladies, the next time your boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever tells you that you “feel different,” unless you’ve had a kid recently, you can tell them they are full of shit. On the other side of this, women often complain that their vagina is too tight to have sex comfortably. There may be several reasons for this. The first being that the woman may still have her hymen in-tact. If the hymen is in-tact, it puts a thin membrane over the entrance to the vagina, making it difficult for penetration of any kind, and thus giving the feeling of “tightness”. The obvious remedy for this is to break the hymen either by yourself, with a partner or you can even have your gynecologist do it for you. There are also two other conditions that may cause apparent vaginal tightness, these are Vaginismus and Dyspareunia. Vaginismus is where the muscles around the outer third of the vagina contract involuntarily making penetration of any kind almost impossible and painful. Dyspareunia simply means “painful intercourse” and can happen before, during or after intercourse. Both of these conditions are classified as sexual disorders and can be treated by a medical professional or sex therapist. The most common remedy for both of these conditions is a combination of psychotherapy and “vaginal dilator therapy” which is where a woman gets a set of cylindrical objects similar-looking to tampons in a range of sizes and uses them to slowly stretch the vagina. Note: These should only be used under the direction of a medical professional or therapist, do not try this alone! For your enjoyment, I am attaching a diagram of the vulva for those of you who need a little refresher of the external reproductive system of women:

On to the matter of vaginal “wetness”. Vaginal wetness is caused by the natural lubrication the vagina produces to make sex more comfortable. Natural lubrication is essential for pain-free sex since it is designed to make penetration easier and can increase your vaginal sensitivity, which helps produce orgasm! If you are either too wet or not wet enough, there may be a few things causing this. If you have recently started using birth control or have recently switched brands, the fluctuations of estrogen and progesterone may be the cause. Also, certain medications may have vaginal dryness as a side-effect such as certain antidepressants and high blood pressure medications. Also, depending on the time of the month that you may have sex, that could dictate how wet you get. Usually women notice that they produce more lubrication during the time of the month that they are ovulating. Being wet is nothing to worry about! In fact, it’s something to celebrate because it’s usually the cause of being hyper-aroused, meaning your partner did a good job! If you feel you are so wet that your partner’s penis slips out of you, try suggesting the use of condoms as this helps with friction. Also, trying different brands and kinds of textured condoms may help as well. If you feel you are not wet enough for sex, I cant stress this enough, LUBE LUBE LUBE! That will make sex a lot more enjoyable for both partners. If you’re using the lubricant with a condom, remember to use water-based lube, since silicone-based can break down the latex in condoms and cause them to not be effective.

2. Is my pubic hair growth normal? To Shave or not to shave? What’s the deal with waxing?

Ahhhh, pubic hair. The little annoying hairs that grow out if your genitals. First of all, it’s perfectly normal no matter what your pubic hair looks like. Some people have a lot of hair, others don’t. Some people have carpet that don’t match the curtains, that’s fine too! Some people’s pubic hair strictly grows out of their genital region, others have pubic hair that extends above the waistline. Everyone is different, because everyone’s genetics and hormones are different. Another big misconception I think people have, especially girls, is that their partner will think it’s weird if they have hair in certain areas. For example, girls may be self-conscious and shave their butts or arms, but the biggest thing about that, and shaving in general is that once you start you can never go back. Hair growth is an interesting thing because after you shave once and let the hair grow back in, it will grow in thicker than it was before and may even be more painful as it grows in. For example, you may notice you get a lot more ingrown hairs or that the hair may be sharp and stab you in unwanted places. Needless to say, if you’re going to go the route of shaving, you have to keep up with it regardless of where on your body you’re going to be shaving! As far as the best ways to prevent from getting razor-burn, the best advice I’ve found stems from a website called www.razor-burn.com. I suggest you all take a look at it, if you’re concerned with that. Now onto the debates: to shave or not to shave? That’s all a personal preference. Some people like to shave everything, some people prefer the total “natural” look and choose not to shave at all, some people like to keep things trimmed, and some people like to trim their pubic hair into shapes such as “The Landing Strip” and the “Bermuda Triangle”. Ultimately, there is no “right” way to go about it. Shave if you feel like you want to, or don’t if you so choose. What about shaving vs. waxing? That, once again is a personal preference. Obviously waxing is a helluva lot more painful. But shaving requires a lot more maintenance. Waxing can be done every few weeks, but shaving usually needs to be done everyday to keep things sleek and clean. It all depends on your skin’s sensitivity and your pain tolerance and of course your financial situation also-it’s a lot cheaper to shave than it is to wax. But like I said, to each their own.

3. Birth Control 101

This topic is one that is going to be hard to cover in an FAQ page I’m afraid, but I get a lot of questions on different forms of birth control, where to get them, how to use them, how effective are they, etc. So what I originally did was make an awesome table for you guys of all the different methods, but it wouldn’t load properly to tumblr. ): SO. Change of Plans. I found a great chart on www.healthystartcoalition.org that offers pretty much all the same info I was going to give you guys, so I’m posting that for you to go over the basics. If you still have questions such as what brand of pill/condom is right for me, or how do I obtain birth control if I’m under 18 and don’t want my parents to know, etc. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t hesitate to ask me! I’m involved with all sorts of safer sex organizations and am very knowledgeable about contraceptives and would be happy to answer any questions you guys have that cannot be answered in this preliminary information I’m providing you with. (:

4. Masturbation: How-To’s, Where-To’s and What-To-Use For Ladies & Gents!.

Let’s start with my lady-followers because this seems to be the most common type of question I get and also the most taboo form of masturbation. First of all, YES YOU’RE NORMAL AND YES IT’S PERFECTLY OKAY TO MASTURBATE! Masturbation is awesome.There is not better way for you to learn about your body and what you like and to be able to then tell your partner what you like than some self-love! Masturbation is also good for strengthening your pelvic floor muscles, revitalizing body tissues, fighting insomnia, reducing depression, relieving menstrual cramps, and releasing emotional tension and stress. Here’s some awesome statistics for you too, ladies: while 95% of men masturbate, still 85% of women also do! See, there’s nothing abnormal about it. There are many different ways for girls to masturbate. The most important thing is to just do some exploration and decide what feels good to you. You can do two types of masturbating; vaginal and clitoral. Vaginal refers to inserting something into the vagina and is internal, whereas clitoral refers to stimulating the clitoris and is external. You can masturbate by inserting “Taylorann-Approved” objects into your vagina, by using your hands, by rubbing up against pillows or stuffed animals, by humping furniture, with a showerhead or bathtub faucet, or by putting vibrating objects against your clitoris or in your vagina. There are many more ways to masturbate I’m sure, just be creative and explore! To get the most out of your masturbating experience I suggest finding a nice, quiet place where you wont be disturbed such as a bedroom or bathroom. I would also suggest, if it’s your first time, to really focus on getting yourself in the mood; light some candles, put on some soft music, put on comfortable or silky clothing or put lavender or vanilla scented lotion on your naked body. Also, it doesn’t hurt to look at or think about some erotic material to get you in the mood. You can fantasize, envision a person you would like to have sex with and imagine them pleasuring you, look at porn, erotic magazines, read erotic books, stories or poems, look at erotic imagery…anything really to stimulate your mind while you stimulate your body! Now for some things to use if you choose to masturbate vaginally that are “Taylorann Approved” (: Vibrators are an excellent option and you can get them made of silicone or plastic (NOTE: be aware of certain jelly-rubber toys because they may contain potentially harmful levels of phthalates-chemicals that have been linked to many health problems and can easily enter the body if leaked out of a toy). Vibrators also come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, vibration levels, and volume levels. Do some research to find out the right one for you. You can also use dildos, which are non-vibrating toys that can be inserted into the vagina. These can be made out of silicone, rubber, even glass! Dildos also come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and textures. Other things you can use to masturbate are your cell phone (on vibrate of course!), personal massagers, a cucumber (peeled, thoroughly washed, and covered in lube-DON’T EAT IT WHEN YOU’RE DONE!), a hairbrush handle covered in lube or even a curling iron (not turned on, inserting the tip-covered in lube). Things to avoid are anything sharp, carrots, and candles as these can scratch the vagina, break off in the vagina, or even get lost in the vagina! NOT GOOD.

Let’s move on to my male-followers now. Masturbation is also perfectly normal, okay and wonderful for men. Masturbation also has the same benefits for men as it does for women: it strengthens pelvic floor muscles, revitalizes body tissues, fights insomnia, reduces depression and releases emotional tension and stress. An added benefit strictly for men is that masturbation that results in ejaculation also releases prostate fluid, helping to prevent prostate infections. Masturbation also teaches control and arousal for men and can help greatly in preventing premature ejaculation and helping you to last longer in partner-sex! Many men wonder about this question: should I use lube? The answer is that it’s a matter of personal preference. Some men like the slickness and others prefer to go the dry route. That’s really up to you if you want to try it out. If you decide you want to try using lube, here are some things you can use as lubricant: water-based or silicone-based lubricant of course, saliva (you’ll need a lot of it though!), hand lotion, conditioner, massage oil, and masturbation creams specifically formulated for men. Things to AVOID as lubricant: soap and shampoo. They can dry out the skin on your penis resulting in itching, cracking, peeling, and chaffing. Also, if they happen to enter your urethra (the pee hole), they can sting a lot. YIKES. Erotic mind stimulation may also be very helpful for men when masturbating. Feel free to look at porn, erotic magazines, pictures, watch erotic movies, fantasize, even reading erotic books or stories. Visual stimulation is just as good for men as it is for women. Men can masturbate manually (with hand stimulation) or by the use of toys designed specifically for men to feel like a woman’s mouth, vagina or anus. Some different kinds of sex toys for men include: masturbation sleeves (i.e. “The Flashlight”), erection rings (AKA cock rings), prostate stimulators, anal toys, and even dildos. You can also make your own toys such as cutting a hole in a stuffed animal and thrusting into that, or into a pillow or even making your own “flashlight”-which I will explain how to make in an upcoming post!!! Be sure to check it out! (:

**If you guys have any other questions related to masturbation that I didn’t cover here, such as picking out toys or tips and tricks, PLEASE send me a question and I’ll be happy to help you out. I can definitely point you in the right direction if you’re looking for a toy or give you some techniques for new masturbation experiences.

Hello Lovely Followers and Visiting Sex Fiends!

This is going to be a very short post. I am busy working away on an awesome FAQ page for you guys, but I know some of you are getting impatient waiting for it to be done, so I have decided to post what I have so far. (:

There are going to be 13 questions total for now, and I have 4 of them completed. Mind you, they are very long and I have worked very hard on them so far, so I can promise you that the other questions will be just as good!

For now, I’m posting the infamous FAQ page thus far. I PROMISE to have the whole thing completed THIS WEEKEND by Saturday night at the latest!!! Exciting, I know. :D

Anyways, enjoy what I have posted for now and be sure to keep checking this weekend for the finished product!

<333 Taylorann

Hello Lovely Followers New & Old and Visiting Sex Fiends! (:

Just wanted to give you guys a quick status update and also note a few new things that will be happening VERY SOON! Ahhh. Exciting. I know.

Firstly, status update. I will begin working on my wonderful FAQ page as promised starting hopefully tomorrow. Not sure how long this is going to take me to complete since I want to be sure to give you guys an adequate amount of information for each question. I’ll do my best to get it completed in the next few days, deal? (:

For those of you who haven’t read my post about my return I will briefly reiterate what’s to come for my blog. I am going to be creating an FAQ page for your reading enjoyment and for looking up quick things. I will keep adding to the list as I see fit. The FAQ page will be logged under my archive and the reason for me making this is that I notice that I continually get a lot of the same questions over and over. It gets very difficult for me to continue to repeat myself and answer all those questions, plus keep up with new questions I get. Therefore, from now on if I receive a question that I have been asked before I will simply direct you to my FAQ page for the answer to your question. PLEASE read the FAQ page before you decide to ask me a question, because the answer may already be in there. (:

Now, a brief bit more about all those questions I’ve received. I realize I was away for a few months and received many questions during that time. Unfortunately because my inbox was so full, I had to delete all the questions I received before I announced my return. ): I’m sorry, it was due to space issues. HOWEVER…IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION THAT YOU SENT TO ME WHILE I WAS AWAY DURING THOSE MONTHS, AND IT WAS NOT ANSWERED AND IS STILL BURNING, PLEASE RESEND IT TO ME! I will begin answering questions again as soon as the FAQ page is up. PROMISE. (:

Last but not least I need to make an announcement about questions that you send me from now on, so LISTEN UP! In order for me to better suit your needs as my loyal and wonderful followers, I would like you to provide me with a few pieces of information when you ask a question. These will better help me answer your questions in an appropriate way. Example: I sometimes forget that people who ask me questions that are under 18 may still live with their parents, this becomes an issue when all the advice I give you assumes that you live on your own. Understand? (:

SO. Please from now on when you decide to ask a question, include these things about yourself:

a. whether you are a male or a female or wish to be identified otherwise

b. your age

c. your living situation (alone, with someone, with parents, etc.)

d. your sexual preference/orientation

Thanks guys, that’s it for now! Like I said, hope to start working on that FAQ page starting tomorrow so look forward to that coming soon. Until then, stay sexy! (; And here’s another photo to keep you amused while you wait…what could be better than Lego sex?!

Have you been Naughty or Nice this year?? (;

So I know it’s a little after Christmas now…but that doesn’t mean the holidays are over just yet! I’ve been super busy lately myself getting ready for the holidays just like I know many of you have. But being busy during the holiday season is no excuse for your sex life to turn to ice! According to Dr. Neil Cannon, a sex therapist, sexual desire can be down as much as 50% during the holidays because of all the stress accompanying that time of year. So as a special treat for all of you, I’m going to give you some sexy tips and tricks for keeping your sex life during the holidays magical (whether they be naughty or nice!) So grab your honey, a cup of hot chocolate, a warm blanket, and enjoy these holiday treats!

1. Plan your “Ho Ho Ho Horny” time!

It’s often very difficult with all the shopping, family visits and baking to make special time to have sex with your partner. This is where having a “sex schedule” can come in handy! Plan out your sexual encounters by picking the location, and time of day to do the deed. Make sex a priority. Spontaneous “quickies” can also be just as satisfying so don’t forget to throw a few of those in every once in a while-pick a new place to try out such as the car, living room, or bathroom. Also, make sure your partner knows what you have in-store for your next adventure by trying this tip: put jingle-bells on the doorknob of the room you wish to have sexytime in-this should amp up the anticipation for your partner and while you’re doing the deed you will be comforted by the thought that you’ll be able to hear if there are any intruders! :p

2. Talk about who’s been naughty and who’s been nice!

Talking about sex with your partner atleast once every day is a very good idea during the holiday season because it will keep your sex drive on your mind. Get creative for ways to talk about when and where and how you’d like your next “sex-capade” to be. Try sending a dirty, yet simple text to your partner during the day letting them know just how bad you want them to go down your chimney later. (; or by suggesting specific details of what the night’s activities are to be. You can create the same effect by a short and naughty phone call, a dirty email or voice mail, or even through your facebook status by creating a code word for getting it on!

3. Be a “Sexy Spontaneous Santa”!

It’s good to break the routine every once and a while, and around the holidays is the perfect time to do that to keep your sex life steamy! Being spontaneous with your partner will take your sexual relationship to a new level! Try these hot tips: while out one evening with your honey, shoot them a very seductive “come here” look and try to pick them up with only your eyes, then take them to the bathroom and go at it! Or give the typical mistletoe a naughty twist by making standing under the mistletoe signify it’s time for a quickie instead of a kiss. (;

4. Remember to “give”!

Everyone wants some extra-attention paid to them when they’ve been sexually neglected for a while. Don’t forget the little things! Focus on foreplay during the holidays and make sure both partners are equally satisfied. Try taking a sexy bath or shower together and then wrapping yourselves in warm, fluffy towels to keep the endorphins flowin’! Also you can purchase a variety of specialty lubricants from your local sex shop or drugstore. You can find warming sensations, tingling sensations and many delicious flavors to add to your sexual experience. My personal suggestion? Try KY’s “Kissable Sensations For The Body”, dual lubricants in chocolate for her and strawberry for him, sounds like the perfect holiday treat, right?! Also, try not only using those lubricants for foreplay but also for a sensual massage and then switch it up so both partners can enjoy the euphoria.

5. Have sexy “holiday-themed” dates!

Winter/Holiday themed dates are perfect to keep things hot and spicy during this time of year. Here are a few of my suggestions: go ice-skating on a local pond or rink, you can hold hands and bond while helping eachother not to fall! Make home-made eggnog and play board games by a cozy fire, make silly bets such as whoever wins the game gets to have their way with the loser. Go out on the town and admire all the holiday decorations while driving or walking and stopping for a holiday-themed hot drink from your local coffee shop along the way. Or if you’re into something super simple, pretend that you’re “snowed-in” at your partner’s house and use your imagination for the rest. (;

6. Spend “The Most Wonderful Time of The Year” together!

Everyone has holiday preparations to do, why not add a little sexiness and bonding and do them together?! Put the tree up together and put ornaments on together holding hands, bake Christmas cookies together and get into a sexy food fight, go shopping for presents together and have fun picking out “naughty” gifts for eachother. The possibilities are endless! The holidays are all about togetherness, there are plenty of ways to get the prepwork done and still keep your sex life intact.

7. Have A Little Holiday Fun With Foods And Spirits!

As I have said before in many posts, incorporating food into sex is a fantastic idea. There are many holiday-themed ways to keep the tradition going. Try drinking home-made dark hot chocolate together made from cocoa that is 70% or higher. Chocolate is a real aphrodisiac (see my post on “foods for fucking” in the archive!) and a great holiday treat. Also since New Year’s Eve is fast approaching, try taking turns pouring champagne or peppermint schnapps (if you’re over 21 of course!) in eachother’s belly buttons and then sucking it out, or simply pouring it all over your partner’s body and then licking it off. (;

8. Get Creative!

Just because there may be other family members around during the holidays doesn’t mean sex has to be completely off limits. Try stealthy positions such as a spooning one to keep people from really knowing what you’re up to under those blankets. (; Also try keeping the ecstasy low-key, try keeping your moans of pleasure on a quieter level than normal so it’s not so noticeable.

9. Baby, All I Want For Christmas Is You!

The holidays are a perfect time to be a little silly and a little sexy. This is your chance to try out role-playing with your partner if you haven’t yet, what could be better than a sexy Santa, Mrs. Claus or Elf outfit?! There are tons of sexy lingerie and costumes available in stores and online, feel free to knock yourself out! Also another sexy surprise to try: use the leftover wrapping paper, bows and ribbons to turn yourself into the sexiest present your partner has ever seen. Then let them unwrap you of course. (;

**Having trouble coming up with sexy holiday outfit ideas on your own? Check these awesome ones out that I found in an article posted on msnbc.com!

http://glo.msn.com/relationships/sexy-santas-6191.gallery#stackState=0__%2Frelationships%2Fsexy-santas-6191.gallery

10. Work That Mistletoe!

Studies show that one of the best ways to keep a sexual relationship happy and healthy is to engage in a 5+ second extremely passionate kiss with your partner atleast twice a day. Taking their breath away like that will really pay off in the bedroom. So this holiday season, buy lots of mistletoe and use it well! (;

Well that’s it for now guys, I hope you’ve enjoyed my “Holiday Guide To Sexyness!” I’ll start posting regular posts very soon, I promise, including getting to all those questions I’ve received! A special shout-out to two guys who sent me questions, JJ and Chris from Florida. You guys rock! (: I love getting questions from guys and it happens rarely. Happy Holidays everyone, and have a fantastically sexy New Year’s Eve! <33